Why Does the Heart Choose Pain?
by S. Halliwell
Summary: It hurts so much when you love selflessly and wish the person you love happiness, but you can't stop loving them which pains you. That's Sakura story. SS oneshot


Hey everyone, here's a one-shot for you while you want for the next chapter of my other stories. Now, i don't usually write tragedy, but I'd thought I'd give it a shot. Hope it's good.

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**Why Does the Heart Choose Pain?**

_Beat by beat, the heart feels_

_Scarlet escaping stealing life_

_Each breath brings about death_

_As your clear steps fade_

_This was to happen, it is known_

_Still the pain is there_

_When the mind thinks one_

_And heart feels another_

_The heart wins for mind_

_Only gives reason_

_Emotions come from more_

_You can worry even in no need_

_Joy can be felt for simplest things_

_And love for no reason_

_Scarlet tears dripping away_

_The heart dying, no regrets_

_The choice of it clear_

_Pain and love over none_

The soft sound of writing cease as the pen finished the last word of the poem. The author looked at the produced work, every word of the poem true. The heart really is a mysterious thing. Returning the pen to its proper place inside the book bag, the author stared at her work remembering when the heartbreak first started.

Flashback

"We need to talk" a voice that would always be in her memory said.

"It's about last night, isn't it?" a soft gentle voice replied without looking at the person who had addressed it.

"Yeah, I'm…" the original voice started, before the second voice stopped it.

"You're done with me and you want to break it off and move on. I get the message, see you around." The soft voice said quietly gathering several books and walking off, each step, the clicking of her shoes echoed in the hallway, her tears spilling inside her heart.

end of flashback

There really is no reason for love sometimes, just like what she felt now. Her logic echoed in her mind telling her this player wasn't worth heartbreak over, but her heart wouldn't listen. Each beat of her heart contained the love she felt for the one person who broke her heart and countless others just like hers, the one person who doesn't understand even a speck of the emotion that her heart has for him. If only her heart will listen to her mind, but since when does that happen? From the beginning she knew that he was toying with her and she completely expected that once he was done he would break it off, but her heart would rather feel the pain of lost love then no love at all. She wondered why her heart chose pain, but there was no way she could answer that question, her heart just did.

The author returned the book to her book bag taking out a school binder. Time went by second by second, minute by minute, until the ringing of the school bell echoed through the air. The author finished up and gathered her things for her class that would begin in half an hour. Her green eyes darted through the hallway aimlessly both hiding and showing her sorrow so well seeing several couples that seemed so happy together, among them, the person she loves with all her heart smiling and charming another victim. She walked on wondering how her heart can feel so strongly about a person that only breaks hearts.

She was a quiet girl, one of those sweet, quiet, shy types, but of course she wasn't naïve. She knew from the beginning that he never saw her more then a mere toy to add to his long list of toys, but her heart could not help but find comfort in this heartbreaker. She remembered so vividly the passion in his clear amber eyes, and the gentle and supportive smile on his face. To be honest, she saw beyond the surface of him. She couldn't help but see the good person that he is. Sure, he was a heartbreaker, but he is still a good friend, that's what she saw.

There were so many things that would be hitched in her memories forever, his smile, his true passion, everything, especially the day when he marked her as his. What a timely manner that the teacher paired them up for a project while his target was her, not really. It was a fact that he would use the project as an excuse to go to her dorm, which for some reason was a one-person dorm, now why was it a one person dorm again? Oh yeah, it was in the new dorm wing that was added to the unused space on the campus, but it was only adequate to build one person dorms, and she was placed there because of her classes. Anyways, he was there, it started out with the project and school work, but he slowly pulled away from that subject and pulled toward the personal subject. She of course made no such moves as it was not something she does. She actually wanted to tell him she wanted to take things slower, but he didn't let her. He drew her in, and never gave her the chance to tell him. He made sure of it. He knew her type, and used it to his advantage. He kept her dazed with his passion until he had finished what he had come to do. She had tried getting him to stop so they could talk, but he kept at it, refusing to let the chance slip. By the time she wanted to use sudden push force, the deed was done. She wasn't and still isn't sure whether or not she was willing, she WASN'T UNWILLING, but she WASN'T WILLING either, she just wasn't ready, but it's over. He had gotten what he wanted, her. He had marked her. Actually, that wasn't even the issue right now; she loves him, so having his mark to her wasn't exactly a problem. She just felt hurt, even though she knew it would be that way. I guess you could say she wanted closure. She knew that he would never love her, but I guess you could say that she at least wanted him to say sorry, but she knew that would never happen. She wrote once that she felt like a knife was lodged right at her heart and she was laying there on the ground dying as he turned his back and walked away from her. It felt so real; she was surprised she wasn't on the ground right now dying with a knife at her heart. Actually, it does seem to be happening. She didn't know what was going on. She had not been sleeping well since that day, and it made her weaker and more tired. Her wariness took over, she didn't struggle to stay standing; she didn't fight to stay awake, she was too tired. Her eyes closed as she dropped on the ground in the middle of the hallway. Her mind fell into the abyss and there it rested tired from the lack of sleep. There was an eerily content small smile on her face as the sounds of footsteps slowly faded away in her mind as she slipped into a peaceful slumber. Who knew how long it would last. It might last a few hours, a few days, a few weeks, months, years, maybe even forever. It was unclear. She seemed at peace, like she was ready to leave this world because an issue in her heart was resolved. Perhaps she did leave, who knows? The many faces that looked at her unconscious form were confused and unsure. If you listen closely enough and zone out all the confused murmurs of the crowd that had gathered around the unconscious girl, and really pay close attention, you could hear the slightest footsteps getting smaller and smaller. It was the one who her heart would never stop loving, the one that had made the biggest mistake of his life letting her go, but he didn't know it yet. He was still absorbed in his game of false emotions and fake love. It sort of was happening. She was there unconscious while he was walking the other way to class not knowing what had happened around the corner, he was walking away from her. Unreturned love always hurts, it just depends on you. The truth was, she wasn't hoping to be with him, and she did just wanted him to be happy because she knew he doesn't feel that way, it just hurts. Her heart just can't stop loving him. She loved selflessly, she wished him happiness, but her love also pained her because she truly loves only him and never could love anyone else.

**THE END**

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I hope this thing is emotional enough. Please tell me your reaction.


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